More evidence you can't spell "dumb" without "AP."
At the bottom of the wrap-up of a 6-5 Marlins win over the Cardinals, most of which reasonably features Jeff Baker's pinch-hit RBI single with two outs in the ninth and Casey McGehee's game-tying hit following a courageous 11-pitch at-bat, the AP mentions the following:
Mike Dunn (6-4) worked a scoreless eighth and Steve Cishek finished for his 19th save in 21 chances.
It's true that Dunn and Cishek worked a scoreless frame each, relinquishing a single each. It's true that Dunn is credited, according to antiquated rules developed during the Taft Administration, with six wins and four losses on the season, though anyone with even a glancing knowledge of the game recognizes that reliever W-L records are as illuminating as a Ryan Braun quote. It's also true that the flying speed of an African Swallow is roughly 29 mph if it's unladen.
Here's what else is true: Before Dunn entered the game, Sam Dyson hurled two pristine innings, allowing no hits and fanning three batters. He coaxed as many outs as Dunn and Cishek combined and was far more effective doing so.
And before Dyson, failed starter Jacob Turner entered the game in the fourth inning with runners on, a four-run deficit and the game one safety from breaking wide open. He ended the threat with a strikeout and then pitched a perfect fifth, after which the Marlins plated three runs to tighten the score.
No one has created a phony measurement to describe the contribution Dyson and Turner made to the win, and so the AP appears unable to explain their value. But it was significantly greater than either Dunn's or Cishek's; indeed it's greater than both of theirs combined.
Because we have these utterly worthless and time-worn numbers we can assign to Dunn and Cishek, they can read their names in newspapers across America. The real pitching heroes, Sam Dyson and Jacob Turner, get the consolation prize of a mention in a sad little blog read by few comely and available young women.
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